Change in the Restart Season

Restarting and Change go hand in hand

Those who have been following Becky and I in our series of Restart: New Beginnings from the book of Ruth have heard us share a journey of our own in our own restart season. I was planning to post today, and came to WordPress and found the topic asking for “one positive change you’ve made in your life,” and thought it was appropriate as we go through this journey.

Over life we can experience changes. Often we grow out of one area and into another, which causes change. Other times change is thrust upon us, and our lives come tumbling down. I’ve experienced this a few more times than I’d like to recount. The journey of life is a journey of change, and we must learn what and when to make changes that will make the best difference in our own lives.

Reflection is a Big Part of Restarting and Change

When we are going through a season, as Becky and I are where the world seems to stop and throw you so far out of your comfort Zone it can cause us to go through a lot of reflection. This is good, because this can reveal some areas of deeper change we may need in our lives. Use reflection and healing to work through what change is truly necessary. Don’t rush or short change this part of the process, because otherwise the changes you may will likely not be as effective or last as long.

Going through this current restart and refocus process I’m older and can recognize better the need for this step. I wonder sometimes if the reason I went through some of my past mistakes isn’t because I failed to fully take the time before. Life can push and press on us and sometimes we shortchange this vital part of the process and find ourselves caught in making the same or related mistakes simply because we haven’t taken the time to sincerely reflect and change.

So What is the Current Change Needed?

That’s the real question isn’t it? What do I really need, or have I been learning is what I need to change?

I’ll be honest as a pastor one of the biggest changes is coming in how I minister. We were through a lot in our last ministry and had a lot of wonderful people we were forced to leave in the care of another wonderful church. Closing a church impacts the whole community, and is a devastating blow to those of us ministering through the process. The natural feelings of failure and letting others down are in your mind, and it takes time to heal. We are still healing in many ways.

These feelings are multiplied when you experience the pain of misunderstandings, broken relationships, and feelings of betrayal. Ministers and their families are in a unique place where everyone expects so much from you that it is easy to take on those expectations and wear yourself out trying to be as Paul said, “All things to all people” (1 Co. 9:22). The problem is that when you are striving to do this and meet the needs of people who need a counselor, a brother, a sister, a missing parent, a teacher, a friend, or any number of other things the second part of that verse can get lost in the needs. Paul finishes the verse saying “that I might save some.” It was his mission, and the focus of his life. Ministers can get lost in the needs and the community and loose themselves and their mission.

Learning a New Word in the Change of Restart

Did we fully lose our mission? No. We still felt called to lead people to Christ. However, I’m realizing that like a lot of ministers it is easy to get lost in the needs of others and in the community and lose effectiveness. One of the results of being in such a place is that in meeting one need we neglect other needs the whole body needs. In trying to be the hands and feet to Christ we can forget that we too are sheep and need fed and cared for. Many pastors burn out, because they never take time for themselves. Many ministry families experience pain, because they simply forget to care for their family.

We didn’t fully do this. Yet, I’m realizing that I can’t do everything for everyone. I also realize due to pains and conflicts toward me I must protect myself more than I did before. I’m struggling to make the decisions, and I hear the back of my mind saying NO! Learning to listen to that voice is hard. I’m realizing it is even harder to get it from the back of the depths of my mind and heart to the lips of my mouth. I’m working on it.

The one area of change is simply that I must admit I am not God, and I truly am not able to be everywhere all the time. I must learn to work in who I am and how I am created. I must minister to others through my life and stop trying to be what everyone else needs. I must say no at times. No, is hard for those of us accustomed to serving others, because we have built our lives on saying “Yes” to being there for everyone and trying to help everyone else’s needs. But in the end, No is sometimes the change that we really need.

Blessings on your own journey,

Dan