4. Changed by Life’s Bitter Road

Ruth 1: 19- 22 ¹⁹ So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?” ²⁰ She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi;^[a] call me Mara,^[b] for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. ²¹ I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

²² So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabite her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.(NIV)

Changing Times can Leave us Feeling Left in Bitterness

Every situation in life will change you. Many of us, especially our age, grew up in A would that taught us to toughen up,  push through, pull yourself up, and hide our pain. It doesn’t matter if you try to bury your pain, hurt the pain is s till there and real. Sometimes trying to bury pain causes us to express it in other ways.  Years of worthy with youth and adults have taught us many things. One of those things is that when people are acting out, they are often experiencing something deep going on inside. Many times this can happen when we are trying to bury something or some pain. It will show in other ways. Sometimes people suddenly lash out at others for no apparent reason. We’ve seen people start to distance themselves from family and friends. We’ve seen others be destructive of property or begin to lie. The truth is that there is some pain they are going through and the lack of control in their lives is building. When not delt with it will flow out of us in other ways, and usually they will be negative ways.

We find Naomi returning home to family and old friends. They are excited to see that she has returned. We miss a lot in not understanding original language and context. These may seem like only a few verses, but in fact they have a lot to tell us about being changed by the circumstances of life that we are going through.

First, we need to understand for the ancient Middle Eastern people names were very important. We see this throughout the Scriptures. Most of us understand this when we come to the angel telling Mary to name the Christ, Jesus, a name which is in fact Joshua or Yeshua in Hebrew. Joshua in Hebrew means, God saves or He will save. Thus reinforcing the angel’s statement to Mary that Jesus would save his people.

Naomi’s name means pleasant in Hebrew. When she is coming into the village of Bethlehem, the women come out seeing her come, and they almost seem unsure that it is their old friend. They all say, “can this be Naomi?” While she has been gone a long time and it may sound like they are just showing surprise that she’s come home after such a long time. However, we think there is more to this than just seeing an old friend.

If you’ve ever had someone leave for a long time and go through sickness or loss you see it in every aspect of their life, even in how they look. Going through things can age us. Anyone who’s went to a class reunion or back to their home church after being gone for years may say the same thing about some who have had some hard times. We may say, “Is that really Bob, or Amy?” Naomi is greeted in a similar manner. Even more imagine your name is Joy, and you come back with worn eyes, spirit, and physically aged. Your old friends say, “is this Joy?” That really gives us the picture better.

Naomi responds by saying, “Don’t call me Naomi, call me Marah.”

Marah is the Hebrew for bitter or bitterness. Naomi is really saying, “Don’t call me ‘pleasant’ call me what life has left me, bitterness.” We have to be careful here to not how she is describing her changed life from peace and pleasant to living with sadness and bitterness. There is a fine line that we can cross so easily where the pain and suffering of life will change us so much that we internally become bitter and even hateful toward others and toward God. I say we have to be careful, because she will say God has brought this upon on her, but I don’t quite think it is blame, but more the idea that she has been left with nothing.

See God Through the Bitterness of Life

Ruth 1²⁰ She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi;^[a] call me Mara,^[b] for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. ²¹ I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” (NIV)

She says, “The Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.” Some may argue that God is being blamed here. Blaming God is really an easy cop out for many of us. We like to blame others for our mistakes, our shortcomings, and our weaknesses. We can call this the blame game. Blaming others has been going on since The Fall in Eden when Adam was quick to blame Eve and Eve quick to blame The Satan, the Tempter.

It is easy when we are hurting to become angry and short with other, even God. It is easy to look around and say this is all God’s fault. First, we want you to know that God has some pretty broad shoulders and can take our asking questions and even questioning His plans in our life. David often cries out to God with the questions of why in the Psalms. David get down right angry in his wondering why things are happening. I’m sure some of Naomi’s time was spent going through this, as a natural process of grieving. Sometime in a future study we will have to take a deeper dive into the grieving process, which can come from far more than death.

Naomi’s statement has more built into than simply blaming God. Her choice of words is clearly expressing her respect and acceptance of God’s power in her life. She calls God the “Almighty,” which we should examine more.

Almighty: The Hebrew word is “Shaddi”. The connotation of the word is Almighty in the sense of all power and sovereign. Sovereignty is a term we don’t use much in the modern world. It denotes an understanding that all things are under the power of the Creator God of the Universe.

A quick look into the book of Job revels a heart that understands the Sovereignty of God. After Job had lost everything we see the following conversation of Job and his wife:

Job 2: ⁹ Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.” ¹⁰ But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”^[a] In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job captures the essence of Sovereignty in saying, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”  Job wasn’t saying God caused the evil, but recognized that to decide if we should have to suffer wasn’t in our power or understanding. Instead we had to accept life given whether God allowed suffering to come or if he blessed and not just when we feel blest.

Naomi expresses a similar attitude here. She is acknowledging that she has been left in a state of suffering and loss. However, she is coming home changed but still alive. She was returning from being blessed with a husband and children to an unknown future. However, in all of this she knew and shows that the Sovereign Almighty God remains in control. All may seem lost and she may be beaten up a bit, but she’s still trusting that God will be with her in her pain.

Overcoming the Pain of Bitterness in the Joy and strength of God

Those who know us have likely heard us say that joy is not happiness, but the inner standing of peace, security, and strength that prevail even the most bitter of times. We don’t live in our own power but a power that only comes from walking with God even in the darkest times.

Naomi was returning with nothing, and to a nearly unknown situation. Yes, the community would have to accept her and help since she would be part of the community of widows. These people were not pushed out of the community; however, they were in many senses the second-class citizens. They lived in homes usually on the edge of property that wasn’t their own. They were reliant upon the leftovers of crops. They were a part of the community, but with no close family they likely felt outside of the full community in many ways.

 Where did Naomi’s strength to return home through such bitterness and pain? How could she go back to a place where she knew she had some who might care for her, but to feel like an outsider? Her words show that her strength was in God, who somehow would help her through. It was her internal peace in knowing God was still in control, which kept her grounded and allowed her to return home again.

We can relate to Naomi, as we’ve been going through our own restarting process, we have had to learn to deal with the feeling of being left in a bitter life. In a few months’ time everything was turned upside down. We’ve found ourselves without a home of our own, living with family. We’ve had to change jobs, wondering if we could find work. We’ve had to go through closing a church and helping the congregation find a new church home.

We’ve been left wondering if we could ever minister again, and how we could. Feelings of failure have haunted dreams. Hurtful things said by people who do not know us linger in quiet times. Questions of whether we will be able to afford a home of our own. Having everything lost I think we can relate to Naomi’s words “Call me (left) Bitter.”

We can also relate to understanding that we still serve the Almighty, who remains in control. Faith often rises to new heights during times of the unknown. We’ve looked at two homes recently that we hoped would be the right home for us. Before going too far into the first one Becky prayed, “God if this isn’t the one show us quickly.” We found out that the home had issues that couldn’t be fixed easily. Then just a few days ago we found a home that was a duplex, and wondered if maybe God wanted this to be our home so it could help us in have some extra income. Praying before going to work Friday Becky said, “God let us have a place where we can invite others in and invite them to see you.” By Friday night God revealed to both of us separately that we couldn’t do that in the small apartment we would have been in on our side of the duplex. We don’t know the final place, but trust God will help us to know and open the door to the right home for his glory.

So, how can Anyone Live Through the Bitterness, What can We do?

• Realize there is no quick cure to grieving or recovery from pain. Everyone is looking for a quick cure. However, in working through the tough times in life we cannot rush the process.
• You will be changed by the event and the recovery. Naomi came back forever changed by the events of travel to a foreign land, the death of her husband and sons, and returning with nothing would make her different. She was open to whatever God would do in the future. When we go through the bitter times we will be changed, often to help others who will journey the path later.
• Seek the Joy of the Lord, even in the bitter times.  In Nehemiah 8:10, as the people wept when the Word of God was read the leaders encouraged them saying, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” There is great truth in this. We don’t have to jump up and down with excitement for the pain or suffering, but we can still praise God. We can still find times to thank God for the small things, the sunrise, the rain, the beauty of a flower, or simply for the breath we can take. The problem will not go away, but getting the focus off of ourselves and back on the trust in God’s almighty power is a source of strength to a hurting soul.
• Be watchful and listen to God’s still small voice. Seeking God should be a constant part of life, but even more so in times of distress and pain. Instead of making any rash decisions we should sit and wait upon the Lord to renew our strength, as Isaiah 40:31 reminds us. Wait and listen for God’s leading, so that we do not make decisions we regret later. Remain open to the Spirits leading. Like Elijah God will likely not answer in the wind and storm, but instead in the still small voice of gentleness. God often wants us to grow in trust in these times, and part of that is in learning to wait and listen to God’s leading.
• Finally, be ready to help others in what you are learning. Naomi, as we will see in coming weeks was healing and still focused enough to bless Ruth with wisdom. This will in return become a blessing to Naomi, and all of us through the end of this story for Ruth. Going through a few months of pain while we were closing the church and getting moved I couldn’t take time to focus on what God really wanted for us next. A month into our time back in our families home I began to see how online and special ministries was a way to minister to others. We also are feeling out how we can create a way to bless other ministers soon in the future. The pain still comes up from time to time. We have not fully found ourselves in a perfect place of work and living. However, we felt we should share as we go through this journey, not to be bitter or whine. No, we felt that others out there were going through their own journeys of pain, and we pray that God can use our sharing to minister to others hearts and show Christ’s power working for all our sakes.

So, what is the bitterness you face that you are needing to trust God through?

May God bless you on the journey with Christ,

Dan and Becky Shipton