Where do I belong? Where is my home? What is my true purpose?
These questions loom in the mind and heart of a person going through a restart in this life. Anyone who has ever had a career change, has started retirement, has lost their home, or is leaving their current ministry, knows what I’m talking about. I’ve had to face a lot of this as we closed our former church last fall, lost our home, and were forced to leave a teaching position where I had formerly enjoyed working before lies and attacks made work miserable.
Yes, Becky and I are praying and working to get the online ministry up and running even through the process. Our hope is always to encourage others in God’s word. I’m working part-time as a teacher in a small private school. I’m grateful to have some income and good people to work alongside. I’m glad God has given Becky A good job and benefits. Yet, my heart and Soul feel so out of place much of the time.
This Weekend was Tough
The breakfast was cleared, tables were rolled out, chairs were set in rows, and the Easter music began to be sung. I could see the joy on the faces around me, but I struggled to sing. It would take three songs to feel like I was even in a worship service. It was almost like having an out-of-body experience. I felt like I was watching myself in a room of people, but I was out of step. I was filled with feeling out of place. I’m realizing this is a Displacement of the heart.
There is a longing within my heart that cries and hunger for the purpose seemingly lost in my calling and having my world turned upside down. The purpose of preaching and teaching has charged and not having a local parish to lead is new ground. Sitting and worshipping is different after years of leading others. I can relate to how retired pastors might feel, but I’m not retired or even feeling I should be at this point.
Please don’t get me wrong. We have a great church to call home. We are learning to enjoy worship without the stress of needing to lead it, and I can at times feel God’s presence over me. I do feel the call to still proclaim God’s word, hope, and to help others dig in. I feel this online ministry, speaking as a fill-in minister or in special engagements, and even being an encourager to other ministers is ahead for me, even as I am writing. I pray I can know I’m making a difference in some lives somewhere even as I’m working through this process.
So, what can We do When We Feel Displaced in the Restart Process?
- First, realize as I share that you are not alone. Others like us all going through seasons like this, and many more have gone before us.
- Second, turn to God and His Word for Strength. God wants as to lean into Him. I find opening the Psalms is a help when going through tough times. The Psalmist shows us how it is good to cry out to God and see how God has always sustained His people.
Look at Psalms 61 and see David’s cry:
1 O God, listen to my cry!
Hear my prayer!
2 From the ends of the earth,
I cry to you for help
when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety,
3 for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.
4 Let me live forever in your sanctuary,
safe beneath the shelter of your wings!
Interlude
5 For you have heard my vows, O God.
You have given me an inheritance reserved for those who fear your name.
6 Add many years to the life of the king!
May his years span the generations!
7 May he reign under God’s protection forever.
May your unfailing love and faithfulness watch over him.
8 Then I will sing praises to your name forever
as I fulfill my vows each day. [1]
(Psalms 61, NLT)
- Third, pray continually. Some might argue with my order of putting prayer third, but for those going through things sometimes we need to know we aren’t alone first. We need to know God’s Word and be reminded He is with us. Then we can pray. Praying after being in the Word of God will help us, especially if we are struggling and really don’t know what to pray. Praying God’s Word keeps our words and hearts in the right place as we cry out to the Lord.
- Hold to the promises of God’s Word. David cries out, but in the end he is praising God. This is because when we get into God’s Word we are reminded of the promise and how God has helped others before you.
I know God remains in control even during the dark times. I know he will show me and confirm the continued call upon my heart. We will one day have a space of our own, and the peace to know my purpose in serving within my talents. How can I be sure, because the promises and the history of my walk remind me that God is in control and as long as I am here, he isn’t done with me yet.
He’s not done with you either. If you’re struggling, there are others who understand and will pray for you. I hope you can learn to put your hope in God’s Word and trust His guidance in your life.
Blessings on the journey,
Dan Shipton
[1] Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Ps 61:1–8.
Word Through The Wilderness * Deep Treks 
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